02 January 2014

To you it shall be for meat.

And I, God, said unto man, Behold, I have given you every herb, bearing seed, which is upon the face 
of all the earth; and every tree in the which shall be the fruit of a tree, yielding seed; to you it shall be for  meat.  And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to everything that creepeth upon the earth, wherein I grant life, there shall be given every clean herb for meat; and it was so, even as I spake. And I, God, saw everything that I had made, and behold, all things which I had made were very good. Gen 1:31-33 IV

I have often read over these verses, and marveled over how God told man to be vegan. With the fall came predation and eating flesh, (which really, written that way, sounds awful), but I have always loved that, if it were up to God, really, we would all be vegan.

The time I spent as a raw vegan was the best health of my life. I had so much more energy, my body was cleansing and releasing toxins and shrinking to the tune of 2-3 pounds a week. (I wasn't doing any strength training then.) I had prayed and prayed and prayed to be able to be really and truly healthy, to have a deep vitality and strength, and I really felt like that was my answer.  Then, morning sickness hit, and I ate almost nothing. A couple of tangerines a day, and some water.  Sometimes some nuts or a little other fruit. I was just so nauseated all the time that nothing but tangerines even appealed to me.  Finally, one day Vern found me in the kitchen on the verge of tears, and folded me into his arms. And I cried. And as I cried, I realized I was so, so hungry. And thirsty. All I wanted was food and drink. And I didn't feel like I could get any of it down.

It was shortly after that that I went back to cooked foods, albeit gluten-free.  GF seemed to allay most of my hypoglycemia and thyroid issues, and I had such a good time in the kitchen, figuring out how to cook with GF flours and coconut milk, still nearly all vegetarian, but loving pancakes and muffins, brown rice and crackers (and cheese). I still think Henry was built mostly on rice crackers, cheese and vitamins. (And, I should be embarrassed to say, gf cookies and dark chocolate.)

Ever since returning to cooked foods, I have struggled with my health and weight.  I gained twenty pounds in that first month of eating cooked food. And another fifty with the pregnancy. I've only come down about fifteen pounds from my immediate post-partum weight of more than three years ago. I'm much stronger (a fair bit of that shift has been recompositioning as I've spent time in the gym), but I still have so far to go. I've felt, over and over, that I really should go back to mostly or all raw, and I think the time is coming for it.  It's time to see what God's way of eating can do for me for longer than three months.  The last time we went raw, we started just before Thanksgiving. By mid-February, when I returned to cooked foods, I was just under 160 lbs, within five pounds of my all-time adult low, and one pants size away from my beloved size 12 corduroys. And I felt so, so good. It's time to get healthy again . . . whatever the scale ends up saying as I get back to getting healthy, and adding strength, too.

Father, I'm ready for change. I'm ready to do this . . . we designed our kitchen for a raw vegan life, and I'm ready to use it that way. Show me how much to do, how far to go, what you would have me feed my family, and how to get started again. Show me what to clear out of my house, whether physical stuff or spiritual. Renew our minds continually, so we have the knowledge to fulfill Your desires for us. My children need this healing, too; they have health needs that exercise alone won't cure. Show me what they need to be fed, how they need to be fed, so they can thrive, growing into the powerful and humble servants You are calling them to be. And thank you so much for showing me that breaking free and beginning change doesn't mean I won't have to deal with the consequences of my old life for quite a while, and for letting me know that You will walk with me, talk with me, and show me how to handle each resurgence in the best way, in a healthy way. I love you, God of mine, and I can't wait to know You better, and to feel like myself again. In Jesus' name, amen!